Life as a pregnant woman (girl) in rural Cambodia

It’s the middle of November. I am riding a motorbike among the rural villages in Northern Cambodia, looking for as many pregnant women as we can find for an interview about their mental health. The best strategy to find them is simply ask around in the village if people know of any pregnant neighbors. Apparently, everyone knows each other in the village so that makes it easy. However, the real challenge is to meet the pregnant women in person; most of the time we get to the houses but find them empty.

During this time of the year almost all the villages seem "deserted", giving off kind of an eerie feeling when passing by

Far away from the “ghost villages”, I vaguely see the silhouette of people against the golden backdrop of a vast plain of rice fields. Going closer, I see dozens of people lined up, motions synchronized, bending down to the rice plants in front of them and reaping one bunch at a time. Despite the exhausting 35+ degrees °C of heat, people wear long sleeves, scarfs, and hats for protection from the scorching sun. Still I can tell apart women and men from their outfits because women literally have every inch of theirskin covered up. Here and there I can also identify quite a few women who are obviously pregnant from the outline of their body shape. “So here they are,” I exclaim to myself.

In fact, during May to December, men and women of all ages work in the field everyday, from as early as 6am to as late as 6pm. Pregnant women are no exception for this demanding task because one fewer worker in the field is too many given the limited time window of the rice growing season.

It's 10am; while I already can't stand the heat taking this photo, these people are not even halfway through their day

Still by persistently searching around the villages, we hope to be fortunate enough to find some pregnant women who are spared from the hard labor work. Indeed, we manage to meet a few who stay back at their homes. Instead of being in the field, they are busy with taking care of children and housework – single handedly plus with a huge belly, showing us life as a pregnant women may be just as hard at home as it is in the field.

Growing up in Hong Kong, my image of pregnant women has long been females who are aged around 30, have a stable family and career, mature (physically and mentally), and eager to give birth to a new life that they have been longing for. Yet after 150+ interviews, the original image of pregnant women printed in my head has stretched quite a bit. Going door to door, I meet with mothers-to-be of all ages, most of which are younger than me at their early 20s. Some of the pregnant women (girls as I would call) are still in their teens, which gives me doubts about whether they truly understand what it means to be a mother. Apparently, we can tell this is not necessarily the case as some of them need their mother to help answer our simple interview questions about their own mental state. Occasionally, we also meet pregnant mothers well into their 40s (also have become grandmothers), who have had a few miscarriages, and yet still are trying their luck. This also makes me question what being a mother means to them.

Despite our abrupt visits, I cannot be more grateful for all the people we meet who welcome us into their homes and find time to talk with us

In the male dominant Khmer culture as in many others, I have been given the impression that lives for women in the villages are all about being family-oriented in the traditional sense. The norm for female is to take on a submissive role: be a daughter who helps out at home, a wife who cooks, and a mother who raises kids. In many cases, they stop their schooling, get married, and become a mother way too early than they are ready for. It gets me at times when interviewing households located near to a school, I look at the pregnant woman (girl) and I see innocence on her face – no different than that of those who are running around the playground just meters away. That makes me wonder if they have learned enough for themselves to let their young ones learn from them in the years to come.

Needless to say, situations like this are happening in many other developing countries. As such, many community development programs, including our “EMBRACE Project”, have put emphasis on feminism, aiming to empower and create equality for women and girls. By working on the ground among rural communities this past year, I truly see how vital it is for female to be equally valued, have equal access to resources and opportunities, and have equal rights, especially when it comes to sexual and reproductive health.

On a last note-to-self, I realize how lucky it is for me to enjoy all the privileges given by the society just because I was born a male. Having this notion in mind, I now constantly remind myself how I can (and need to) be more aware of, sensitive to, and proactive about gender and equality issues in all aspects of life.